Rage, Dear Brave One

In the spirit of International Women’s Day, I want to salute all the women who’ve survived/escaped/rejected abusive relationships.
Know that you are strong.
Know that you are worth more.

“Rage, Dear Brave One”

Ripped through
Reeling from the
Refuse of a
Relationship gone toxic and
Repressive.

Read my eyes and
Realize I’m not that. I’m
Real. I’m here to
Reject the idea that being handled can be
Read as being held.

Rain and tears aren’t ‘sposed to mix.
Remember when you wore flowers in your hair?
Realms of daring princesses and
Reigns of dragons?
Raging wars that were never ‘sposed to touch
Reality? Take back the dream and
Rage against the animal that’s
Ruling you
Rendering you lifeless, breathless
Ravaged.

Rage, my dear brave one.
Rage.

It doesn’t have to be this way.
-ijs

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Silence Falls

Rain whispers
And the cars they pass
And I watch
Faceless drivers inside going and going.

And I realize I am one of them
But where am I going
And once I get there
Must I go further?

I don’t know
And thinking about it frightens me
I am so deeply tired
I find that I want to stop.

If I can look from a safe place
Maybe I’ll see where I am going
But I have lost my way
The black is around and under me.

I think I will pull others down with me
So I run deeper into myself
Where questions won’t reach
And silence finally falls.
-ijs

Distraction

She wanted my heart
but all I could give
was my body
and so we drank a bottle
then played that song

and I held her
while she rode me
into the morning
threw the alarm clock on the floor
and we followed it
while our heat went up in shadows
on the walls

She asked me to stay
unable to see
she was talking to a ghost
and in the morning blue
I closed the door
and walked out of her life
and left her alone
wearing nothing but her makeup.
-ijs

Maybe I Waited

I suppose (maybe) I liked the way
You haunted the halls of my heart
Whispering your cold, dark pain
But maybe there are better places (now)
To find my inspiration.

I think (maybe) I’ve drawn that well dry
Coming back once too often
And it’s possible I kept searching those depths
Because I thought to leave it
Would kill a part of me.

It’s time for you to go
(let me be)
Because you’re already gone
A tortured ghost
Snatched by yesterday’s breeze.
-ijs

Dash

cemetery-3

Tombstones march along the hill
Ranks of the dead forever still
Monsters and angels side by side
Some reprieved, some denied
And the turning leaves leave me restless
My unutterable smallness; the cosmic madness
Wondering how they accepted fate
When their dash turned into a date
And the wind whispers of love’s lost hand
Mingling with the shrieks of the eternal damned.
-ijs

My Offer

IMG_4654

Most nights we’ll glide along the sand
While men sleep
And the gods of the deep
Hold their pale-faced lover
But once in a while
Darling, once in a while
The tides will change
And we’ll reach up with reins
Of fire, and spark an inferno, desires
Born to dance
On the bones of forgotten worlds.
Here’s my hand
And my offer–with me
Lonely sometimes you may be
But alone? Never.
You’ll see
You’ll see clearest in the nights
Dark and free.
Will you come?
-ijs